Listen, we're hardly snobs at Fat Dude. We love junk food. We've never owned a piece of designer clothing. We are even known to watch a bit of reality television (Every network TV show should include a Wade Robson dance routine... just sayin'). But there's one thing we don't get; the cookie-cutter, mass-produced, couldn't-have-less-freaking-personality website template.

Entertainers, why do you enter into these abusive, one-sided cyber-relationships? Comedians do you want to perform a set that's just like the last three guys who got up on stage? Musicians, are you working on a demo full of generic beats? Actors don't you just get thrilled at hearing "Thanks, that was exactly what we saw from everyone else today" at the casting office?  Uh... We didn't think so.

So where's the love for your website, artists? Why are you satisfied with a cookie cutter website that looks like it came right off the rack (or worse, the bargain bin)? If you're going to put your face out on the internet, why not make sure that site actually represents... you?

At Fat Dude, we don't just believe in the personal touch, we believe in a website chock-full of personality. We've done it with our own site, and we do it for every last one of our clients. No templates here. No cookie cutters. Just home-brewed, made-with-love, ass-kicking websites.

Still not convinced? Here's three reasons why generic, from-a-template websites are so 1997.

Ever walked the red carpet at the MTV Movie Awards only to find out that Miley Cyrus is wearing EXACTLY the same outfit? Embarrassing, right? And when you attended Andy Dick's celebrity roast and Kathy Griffin's dress was just like yours, except yours was mint-green and hers was olive-drab, that didn't feel much better, did it? No, it didn't.

Here's the thing about a template. If you found it, and you bought it, that means dozens of other people probably did too. Not just any people, your competition! Can you imagine if Nike and Adidas started using the same logo? Is that the crazy, upside-down world you kids these days want to live in? (Here's the part where you say "NO!".... seriously. We could use some audience participation here.)

Okay, here's where we're big fat liars about the "we're not snobs" thing. Come on, a template-driven website is seriously tacky. The website is designed before you ever even meet the designer, which means the content has to be built around the format (instead of the other, preferable way around... does "form follows function" ring any bells here, people?).

The fact is, most of us aren't design freaks, but we can tell when something is low quality, even if we can't tell what's wrong with it. Here at Fat Dude, we really do think every artist and entertainer should be promoting online, but we'd rather see you with no website than with a website that makes you look bad in front of the audience you're trying to impress.

We design-types are a little like magicians: we don't like to give away our secrets. So, here's where the Fat Dude crew becomes the bad-boys of web design. Are you ready? Here it is:

The only reasons templates exist is so your designer can make the most money for the littlest effort. I know. We should have asked you to sit down first. We hope you get over the shock, but you needed to hear it.

Templates seem to give you a wide variety of choices, and a clear idea of what your site is going to look like, but in the end, it's only intended to minimize the amount of time your designer spends on you.

Here's the bottom line.

Here at Fat Dude, we're simply not looking to take on a million clients and push them out the door as quickly as possible. Don't get us wrong, we're definitely looking to expand the family, but we'd rather build relationships while we're building sites rather than a quick wham, bam,thanks for the HTML.

For a better idea of what we're all about here, here's a few links to check out:

The Fat Dude Manifesto outlines our ideas about what it means to self-promote online.

Our Services page shows just how we can get your web campaign jump-started.

Occasional visits to the FatBlog will give you a steady stream of advice and how-tos for your online career.

Or, if you're ready to get started, contact us now!