Okay, stop right there. Yeah. We know exactly what you're thinking. "I am neither a soft drink, nor a cow. I'm just not feeling the whole branding thing.." Well, listen up, Spanky, because believe it or not, this is good stuff. When we find your brand identity and apply it to your online battle strategy, you'll be turning the tide in your campaign for recognition. (Did that work? We're not good at war analogies.)

Everyone's got a public face. No, really. Feel around right below your eyes. Feel that thing sticking out? And the thing below that? (Careful, it bites.)

Okay, seriously. Here's the deal. Every time you send out your resume, or put up a personal website, or present a demo reel, or hand out a business card, you're telling people who you are. It's not just the content, but the presentation, the mode of delivery, the message you are sending to all five senses (well, hopefully your clients aren't touching you too much), and the general impression you leave long after the content is put aside.

This may be something you are completely unaware of, but whether or not you believe in your Brand Identity, your Brand Identity believes in you.

If you're going to live in a cave, you shouldn't. If you're going to snatch up a corporate job and stay there for the next thirty years you'll (probably) be okay without giving this much thought. But if you're out there looking for a potential audience, a future boss, a new client, a ton of customers... here's the thing no artist or entertainer should ever forget: You're not just selling your product, or your services; you're selling yourself, baby.

There's two things that can go wrong with your Brand Identity, and either path leads to heartache:

1) Your Brand ≠ you: Take control of that Brand Identity, Chief, or it's gonna take control of you.

This problem emerges when you do the legwork to get your Brand out there, but never really build a cohesive Brand in the first place

Symptoms: default templates, mismatched color schemes, unnecessary social networking, audience left unsure who you are.

Prognosis: Fair for an artist with very strongly displayed work. Not so great for an entertainer looking to build an online following and find employment.

2) Your Brand is nowhere to be found: Is that the sound of crickets?

This problem is a doozy: not only are you unsure what exactly your Brand Identity is, but you don't even have a Brand to speak of.

Symptoms: You don't appear in the Google results for your own name. Little to no online presence. A phone that doesn't ring.

Prognosis: Plenty of time to pound the pavement, but patient may completely cease to exist online.

This is the fun stuff. We're no mathematicians here at Fat Dude, but we have found a very simple equation to identify a successful Brand Identity. It breaks down like this:

Your Self Image + Your Goals - Your Drunken Spring Break Photos = How Others View You x All The Time

Think about the celebrities who must successfully manage their Brands. People like Donald Trump, Paris Hilton, Ozzy Osbourne, Kim Kardashian, Ryan Seacrest. Love 'em or hate 'em, these are people who totally manage the public face they put forward. Here at Fat Dude, we do not suggest that you try to be anyone you are not (you perfect little snowflake, you), but we do suggest that you think long and hard about who you are and how you can apply that scintillating little personality of yours towards your career.

Once that self-image is defined, it's a matter of making choices that give everything you touch a little of that same personality.

Okay, kids. We live in a world where Web 2.0 has been fully adopted (and co-opted?) by the corporate world. It's the suit-and-tie types who we have to thank for terms like "Online Identity Management," "Online Reputation Management," and "Social Media Optimization." We're not really fans of the long, complicated language here at Fat Dude, so we simply call the process "Selling your Brand."

If you pack up your Brand in your spiffy little Brand-mobile, and head out into the big, digital world, there are endless places to hawk your wares. Should you spend all your marketing time on Facebook? Twitter? YouTube? A blog? A podcast? A Flickr account? And how much time should you spend, anyway? And how often?

That's where your favorite uncle, Fat Dude, comes into play. We believe everyone has a unique Brand Identity that can ultimately lead to success, without leading to loss of sleep and an empty wallet. We'd love to find the solution that's right for you. Drop us a line.